on going to a new church

I met a woman after church today for whom the whole experience of trying to find a new place to worship seemed daunting. A widow, 74 years old, and her former church was dying a slow death. She decided to make a break for it. I don't blame her.

I, too, am in that awful (and I do mean awful) position of having to do the same. Since moving to Denver, I have tried to get "plugged in" and "engaged" in some sort of "dialogue" with others at a local church. But, tell me, precisely how does one do said "dialogue" when said church is approximately 1,000 (?) members?

Church in America is a weird deal, and I was not ready for it. After six years of hearing the church bell in my village at 11am and 6pm each Sunday, just a block away, calling people to worship, I found myself faced with a 10 mile suburban drive to get to a warehouse-sized building and a car park at the church the size of two city blocks by two city blocks. A coffee bar loomed inside, larger than any I have ever seen in Glasgow. A book and music store. Amazing A/V equipment and a worship band that records CD's. How can this be? Is this still church? And how do I find The Church?

In my still (it's been 15 months I've been back in the States)confounded state, I wonder about Jesus' Body, His Church, His Holy Bride: do we look into one another's eyes to behold the face of our Lord Jesus as He says He thirsts...for friendship, for eyes that listen, a smile that says a holy "YES!", for a hand to hold, and much, much more (maybe even a pot roast thrown in there for good measure)?

Today I was looking at His face in Shirley, the elderly woman I shared a conversation with after church. We, both of us, on only our second or third go at visiting this new church. And we both feeling the gnaw of loneliness and the pain of having no place where we are known. How different our places in life and yet how similar we are.

I will keep going back to this church. I will choose to be amongst God's people--fringe bene's or none --getting what I want or not --finding what I am looking for or not-- Jesus promises me that He lives with us, His Church, His Bride; He will presence her gathering. And that is what I am holding out for.